


Wishful Thinking

by SafetyPinnedSammy (ruthiestump)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Fluff, High School, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Young Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-12 07:44:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11732628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruthiestump/pseuds/SafetyPinnedSammy
Summary: Prompt: Moving.Sam has to move and is leaving you, his high school girlfriend behind. You reminisce over your relationship. Fluffy beginnings and sad endings up ahead.





	Wishful Thinking

You knew this was going to happen, you were warned actually, but this still feels like your heart is being ripped out of your chest. 

You’re speechless even though you know you had no right to be but you were sitting on the bleachers, jaw slightly open in disbelief. The wind was picking up, the harsh frigid breeze pricking your skin as you stared out onto the empty football field. Goosebumps littered your arms even underneath Sam’s warm hoodie. The only place where you felt the tiniest bit of heat was where Sam held your hand. His long fingers seemed to transfer what little warmth he still possessed from staying put half an hour after the football game has ended. 

“Tonight?” Even though you and Sam were the only ones left on the field, you could barely hear your own question. Sam’s grip on your hand tightened, a small squeeze that knocked the disbelief down a few notches. You see Sam nod, his lips turned down in a sincere frown. 

“In fifteen minutes actually.” Sam checks his watch, the Casio huge around his thin wrist. Another gust of wind blew, Sam’s brown hair fluttering in the cold as you try to wrap your hand around the new information.

“Fifteen minutes.” You repeat. You look down at your clasped hands and start to blink away the unwanted tears. 

“My dad was just transferred to another shop.” Sam says for what has to be the fifth time since he broke the devastating news but you couldn’t seem to comprehend. “I would’ve told you sooner Y/N but my dad sprung it on me this morning.” 

You look up from your intertwined fingers and meet Sam’s gaze. His cheeks are flushed with pink, his lips chapped and red from the cold, and his hazel eyes shiny with unshed tears. You frowned at the sight of Sam being upset. 

“I know.” You say. You shift closer over to the teenage boy, both of your arms and thighs lined up and sharing body heat. You take a lungful of frosty air before continuing. “You told me you would’ve been gone in a month or two after we met and I was prepared for that,” You take another deep breath and Sam lets go of your hand to wrap his arms around your shoulders. Sam starts to rub at your arms and you let yourself relax in his hold for the last time. “It’s just… you’ve been here for six months. That’s just unfair.” 

“Yeah well,” Sam starts, his words gaining a harsh edge to it. “Dad never was the one to be fair.” 

“It’s senior year.” You hear yourself pleading despite yourself. Sam moves around a lot, that’s one of the first things he’s told you when he met you but you still want to try something, anything, to make your boyfriend stay.

“He doesn’t care.” Sam sounds far away, his hand rubbing small circles on your covered arm. “We gotta go where the job takes us.” 

You turn your head to look at Sam, his last sentence sounding a little off to you. You focus on his profile, taking in the way he stares off to the other side of the football field. His jaw was clenched tight in what seemed like anger. The sweet pink in his cheek contradicting the stern furrow of his brow. The both of you stay silent for a minute, your eyes pricking with tears. 

“I know you didn’t want to do this with me.” You sigh, linking your fingers through Sam’s hand dangling off your shoulder. Sam turns his head to look at you, his eyebrows raised in confusion. 

“Didn’t want to do what?” 

“You didn’t want to date me.” You say remembering the first time you met Sam at the end of your junior year, six months ago.

\-------------------------

You were curious of the super late addition to your AP calculus class, the tall handsome boy looking slightly uncomfortable in the seat next to yours. He introduced himself to you once Ms. Jefferson told you to work in pairs. You couldn’t get over how gorgeous his multi colored eyes were. The two of you became fast friends throughout the week, you graciously showing Sam the school that he’ll be in for the next few months. 

The friendship had become instant, Sam loosening up as the you spend time together. He was funny as well as smart and it was inevitable to fall for him. It was during the third week of knowing him that you decided to let Sam know about your feelings for him. 

It was in the library. You both sat at the table you guys claimed as your own a while back. Sam was studying his chemistry book but you were fiddling with your fingers, nervous about how you were going to express your feelings to your new friend. The pads of your fingers drummed against the hardcover of your textbook, your mind going a mile a minute.

“Y/N. Y/N. Y/N, stop.” Sam placed his hand on top of yours, stilling your fingers on the glossy material. You look up, surprised that your friend took notice of you. He had a smile on his cute face, an amused glint in his eyes. He pats the back of your hand before going back to his book. He chuckles as he reads and scribbles a few notes on loose leaf. 

You watch him for a few seconds before you will yourself to take a deep breath. “Sam?” You say on a exhale, his name sounding shaky as it leaves your mouth. 

He looks up again, Sam’s smile now taking a kind aspect to it. “Yeah?’”

“I just wanted to tell you that you have been a good friend for all that I’ve known you.” Sam puts his pencil down on the top of his paper and gives you the earnest look he does when he’s giving you his full attention. 

“Same here.” He says. His smile is accompanied by dimples this time and it makes the butterflies in your stomach flutter uncontrollably. “I don’t think I clicked with anyone this well in all of my schools.” He mentions. 

Your cheeks grow hot as you blush. Sam has told you about his constant moving and school changing so you the sincerity behind his statement. “I’m glad.” You smile. “I really like you a lot both as a friend and more than that. I wanted to let you know that I would like to date you .” 

Even though the two of you were used to the quiet of the library, this particular silence seems deafening as you see Sam’s smile fall. It feels like time slows as Sam processes the information you laid out for him. A minute passes by but it feels like an hour before Sam speaks. 

“Y/N,” He says your name in a funny way, a sad whisper as his hazel eyes hold your own hurt gaze.”You mean so much to me. You’re probably one of the best friends I’ve ever had and you know that I haven’t had many.” 

You nod since it felt like your pounding heart was trying to claw its way up your throat. You cough before opening your mouth hoping that your words don’t come out as shaky as you felt. 

“Yeah because you and your family move a lot.”

Sam nods this time, his eyes flickering down towards his notes like he couldn’t meet your eyes for more than two seconds. 

“More than a lot,” he says, voice softer than it’s ever been in the library. “The minute we become something other than friends that’s the moment my family packs up and leaves.” He sits back against his wooden chair, an exhausted sigh slipping out into the silence. “It’s like John has a sixth sense for whenever I get too happy or comfortable.” 

Sam ends his comment with a sad tilt of the corner of his pink lips. He sits up again two seconds later, looking up at you as if he was surprised to see that you were there to hear him that time. “I mean it wouldn’t be fair to you to start something when I’d be gone soon after.” 

It makes sense. Sam always makes a lot of sense but the knowledge of doing the smart thing isn’t making you feel any better. You let out a deep breath exhaling all of our shakiness from basically being rejected and give Sam your best smile. 

“I get it,” you assure, picking up the pencil you put down when you first gained the courage to speak up about your feelings. You start flipping the glossy pages of your textbook to give you something else to focus on instead of Sam. “It’s the smart thing to do.” 

“Yeah. We’re being smart about it.” Sam states and when you look up from the history bio, you see him looking off into the distance nodding to himself. Sam spends a few moments staring at the bookshelves just to the right of you. You have to snap your fingers in front of his dazed eye line to get his full attention. 

He blinks, his hazel eyes opened wide once he focused on you again. He looks like a deer caught in headlights, a very cute deer, so you couldn’t help the amused giggle you let out in response. “You okay, Winchester?” 

Sam seems to follow your lead, a surprised cough tumbling out of his mouth. “Yes. I’m fine.” The smile he quickly plastered on his face went away just as fast. “Are you okay, Y/N?” 

Even in the three weeks you’ve known him, here was Sam worrying about someone other than himself. You let your genuine smile be your answer. You were okay. You might want this handsome boy as your boyfriend but having him as a friend was just as amazing. 

“Yeah Sam. I’m completely fine. Now let’s get back to studying World War Two German warfare. I am not going to fail this midterm because of a few feelings.” 

The two of you get back to work speaking only when either of you had questions about the material in front of you. It was uneventful after your confession except for the few stolen glances. The next week of school went normally, classes and study sessions with Sam ticking by as usual but it was two weeks after the library incident when Sam surprised you. 

The two of you were walking to your house, a regular route over the past few weeks even if you had to walk it without Sam these last three days. 

“Helping my dad and brother with some things. Can we just hang out at your place?” Sam had said when you asked about his absence. You didn’t think much about it, even if he changed the subject rather quickly. You were just glad to spend the final days of school with your friend. The sidewalk seemed empty for this time of day. You lived relatively close to the school and the concrete blocks usually held dozen of kids around this time. You and Sam were the only people with five blocks but you kind of appreciated the false of privacy. 

“I don’t care what people say,” You laugh. “Mr. Hammond was high out of his mind today.” Sam starts chuckling besides you, no doubt thinking about your physics teacher who seemed spaced out during 3rd period. “The dude has always been into physics but when he started making plane noises I knew those brownies were spiked.”

Sam laughed along with you, joining the conversation every now and then. Sam seemed a little silent on the walk to your house but you didn’t mind it. You had a lot to catch him up on. The two of you were close to your house when the most wonderful and unexpected thing happened. 

You were still speaking, going on about your physics teacher when Sam stepped in front of you. You stop mid-sentence, surprised at his sudden proximity and stumbled into his chest. You place a hand on your shoulder to right yourself as Sam stills you with a hand at your waist. A ‘Sorry’ was just on the tip of your tongue but before you can spit it out, soft lips were pressed lightly against yours. Sam’s hand felt warm right above your hip, his mouth parting a bit to let your top lip fill in the open space between his. The hand not at your waist was cupped under your chin, Sam’s thumb stroking the skin there as he continues to kiss you. You press in close as you finally realize that this kiss is actually happening. Your fingers curl in the soft open flannel he wore, your chest flush against the surprising firmness of his torso. 

Sam pulls away slowly but he doesn’t move away to leave your personal space. The both of you are standing in the middle of the sidewalk, gripping at each other as you breathe each other’s air. 

“Wow,” you breathe, laughing at the new sudden turn of events. “That’s new.” 

Sam smiled at your amusement, his dimples framing his slightly wet lips. “Yeah,” he exhales before moving in to kiss you again. You meet him halfway once you notice what he’s planning to do. You wrap your arms around Sam’s neck making sure to pull him tightly against you because this is quickly becoming your new favorite thing. 

You pull away from the kiss this time. Your eyes were heavy lidded and the smile on your face lifted the tone of your question. “What was that for? Not that I’m complaining.” 

Sam’s dimples deepen as he blushes. “I kind of thought about our friendship,” Sam explains, his long fingers playing with the hem of your t-shirt. “And whether I’m leaving tomorrow or a week from now, I really couldn’t leave without kissing you.” 

You melted in Sam’s hands, happy at his declaration. Your hands slide down his shoulders , fingers running over his hard bookbag straps, soft plaid fabric, all the way down to his warm hands, linking your fingers together. 

“Well,” You say. “I can’t really argue with that logic.” 

Both of you send sweet smiles to each other, smiles that’s meant for more than friends. That was the start of your relationship. It didn’t stray far from how your friendship went, summer days interspersed with makeout sessions. Easy talking and all done with such a frenzied rush, the two of you taking advantage of the limited time you thought you had together. 

After that first kiss, the two of your were inseparable spending the following two weeks ending out the school year and hanging out in your room. Days turned into weeks where instead of being holed up indoors in your room, Sam took you to the movies and paid for your meals. Weeks turned into months where you and Sam traded in dinner dates for laying out in the park and finally meeting famous Dean. You’ve only caught a glimpse of Sam’s father as he was dropping Sam off in front of your house but you didn’t mind much. You weren’t fond of John after hearing some of Sam’s stories.

The months turned into the whole summer, your nerves coming off high alert as July blends into August. You start to hope that Sam would be there for the start of your senior year, that his dimpled cheeks can greet you when you meet before class even though you know he can leave any day now. 

Even Sam looks surprised that he’s been here for as long as he has. He’s made it a point to see you as much as he can, only leaving a few days where you don’t see him at all which he chocks up to helping his father at work. Whenever you did see Sam, you let him see how happy you were that he hasn’t moved. September passed without any problems and October came and went with the opportunity of Sam keeping you warm. Now here was November and you’re sitting on the cold metal bleachers ticking down the seconds till Sam has to leave you. 

\----------------------

“That’s not true.” Sam says, lifting you out of your recent memories. “Once I got to know you I wanted to be everything to you. A friend, a boyfriend, anything. I just….” 

Sam pulls you in for a hug when he pauses his thought. He’s warm against your side and you pull at his jacket to press against him as close as you can. He rests his chin on the top of your head after he presses a kiss there. “I just didn’t want to hurt you when I left.” He lets out a dry chuckle, the vibrations humming through your body. “Just like I’m doing now.” 

You lift your hand up and cradle Sam’s jaw, tilting his head to the side to kiss him. It was slow and slow and full of all the adoration you’ve gained for your best friend. It took a second for Sam to understand what was happening but he returned the kiss just as soft and just as sweet as you gave it. 

“Thanks.” You say once you pull away from his lips. 

“Thanks for what?” Sam blinks, his lips kissed red now. 

“Thanks for letting me get to know Sam Winchester. He’s a great guy. A good kisser too.” You laugh, the tears you’ve been holding back now starting to roll down your cheeks. 

Sam laughed as he rubbed the tears off of your face, the cold wind quickly drying the wet tracks left on your skin. “I’ll miss you.” Sam smiles before kissing you tenderly. You drag your fingers through his soft brown hair, soaking in every single moment of Sam that you have left. You’re not sure how long you sat there attached to Sam’s mouth but you don’t mind it one bit.

A loud car horn blares through the silence, startling you and Sam apart. You look over Sam’s shoulder, your boyfriend doing the same, and saw the black impala you’ve grown to recognize. It was idling a few feet away from the bleachers, the headlights shining bright across the dark road. You can see Dean faintly in the passenger side window, the older brother giving you a small goodbye wave from his seat.

“I have to go.” Sam states. He’s not looking at you when he says it, his eyes trained on the metal underneath his feet. 

“Yeah.” is the only thing you can say now. 

Sam sits in silence for a few seconds before he slowly stands. He looks down at you sitting and frowns. “I’ll try to write you.” 

You nod in acknowledgement, wiping away any stray tears that fell. “I’ll write back. Bye Sam.” 

Sam leans down and kisses your forehead, his mouth leaving a warm spot on your skin. “Bye Y/N.” 

Sam walks down the steps of the bleachers, his boots clunking on the metal as he walks further and further away. You watch as he heads towards the black car, letting out a shaky breath once Sam opens the back door. Sam gives you a wave from his spot and when you return it, he climbs into the backseat. The impala roars when it comes to life and rips down the pavement. 

Even as you sit on the metal watching the car drive away, you hope you’ll see Sam again sometime soon. You were sure that you were never going to forget the name Winchester.


End file.
